Electronic Mumblers and Cyber Stranglings

Why is it that no matter how lazy, exhausted or tired you get, you can always have energy for sex? Lately, between work, this blog, and my new exercise plan--yes, THE SEX finally broke down and decided to work out regularly--I have been extremely exhausted. But I still want to have sex.

So last night I logged on to Adam4Adam. I was sifting through the pictures of the guys that I have met before, the kats I would like to meet, and the brothas who I wish would never hit me up (sometimes I pre-emptively block them, that's cold).

While I am browsing, this brotha hits me up: 23 years old, notbad looking, 6' 155lbs. Everything seemed decent. Except for his lazy ass note:

What's up man.

I usually get annoyed when a guy just sends me a "sup" or "whassup" message. I think it's pretty lame. My feeling is, you're not walking past someone on the street--you're trying to engage them (right?). Why not supplement that "what's up" with a question or comment? Do something, as the initiator to get the party started. But he didn't. So I did what I always do when I get lame intros. I sent that lame shit back to him.

Not much, you tell me.

But this brotha was really lazy,

Not shit, just chillin'

Why the hell did this guy ever approach me in the first place? He's not saying anything. Or is he so boring he thinks that he is having a conversation? It's after 10 PM, and he is holding Internet small talk. But I was feeling "that way", so I decided to sum up a little patience, and pitch in a little extra work to get the conversation going.

That's cool. So tell me man, what are you looking for?

His first detailed answer revealed,

I am just into getting my dick sucked and fuckin.

So I asked him,

When are you looking to do this?

And he immediately went back to being vague,

This morning cause I work.

I was frustrated now. I decided to give this guy ONE LAST CHANCE.

WHEN IN THE MORNING?

And then he put the icing on the cake of annoyance.

I mean it's whenever.

I had to step away from my computer because I was about to cyberstrangle this bitch. Why is it that guys hit you up on the Internet and start electronically mumbling? (Aside: Not to be confused with the Digital Staller, who hits you up saying how tight your pictures are, and then after you respond--NEVER hits you up again.) That's basically what this guy was doing--responding with frustrating, somewhat non-comprehensible, vague, one to two word answers. I sent him one more message saying when he got it together to hit me up.

I have a new rule. If a guy's second response is "chillin", "I'm cool", "not much" or anything other than an attempt to converse--I won't be wasting my time.