BeTh Syndrome
What happened on New Year's Eve? Why didn't people show up for my sex party? In thinking over these questions, it took me a little time to realize the answer: I had invited a bunch of guys who were suffering from BeTh Syndrome.
There is something inherent in a lot of men, gay AND straight, that has them suffering from this condition. Let me explain. For those of you have gone to a bathhouse you are familiar with BeTh Syndrome. You see a guy come into the bathhouse that you are attracted to. He is obviously checking you out and is interested in you as well. You make a move. But he tells you--"I just got here and I want to check things out first."
It's not that you aren't hot. He just wants to make the rounds and see if he can find BeTh--the Best Thing. Not that BeTh would even be interested in him mind you. But so many guys want to survey the landscape first. Unable to make an absolute decision on the merits of what is before him, the BeTh searcher will scan the entire bathhouse to make a relative decision of comparison--and potentially lose the first guy he met (who has either left or refused to hook up with the BeTh chaser who initially passed him over).
That's what happened to me. The fourteen guys who lied and RSVP'ed to my party were BeTh chasers. It's New Year's Eve, and there are a lot of options: clubs, house fiestas, family get togethers, dinners, and black/latino sex parties. Somehow my party got lost in the mix.
I am not going to pass judgment on BeTh chasers. It is good to look for the best thing in life--and no one should ever settle. But whatever happened to simply making a decision? Either have sex with the guy or not. Attend the party or not. Sometimes the search for BeTh in the long run wastes time--or worse, you lose out entirely.
I should have advertised my NYE bash as the "After Hours Sex Party" and had it start much later, like at 3am. That would have made it a destination for people looking for some action after their NYE festivities.
But you live and learn. I still have all that beer for another sex party...
There is something inherent in a lot of men, gay AND straight, that has them suffering from this condition. Let me explain. For those of you have gone to a bathhouse you are familiar with BeTh Syndrome. You see a guy come into the bathhouse that you are attracted to. He is obviously checking you out and is interested in you as well. You make a move. But he tells you--"I just got here and I want to check things out first."
It's not that you aren't hot. He just wants to make the rounds and see if he can find BeTh--the Best Thing. Not that BeTh would even be interested in him mind you. But so many guys want to survey the landscape first. Unable to make an absolute decision on the merits of what is before him, the BeTh searcher will scan the entire bathhouse to make a relative decision of comparison--and potentially lose the first guy he met (who has either left or refused to hook up with the BeTh chaser who initially passed him over).
That's what happened to me. The fourteen guys who lied and RSVP'ed to my party were BeTh chasers. It's New Year's Eve, and there are a lot of options: clubs, house fiestas, family get togethers, dinners, and black/latino sex parties. Somehow my party got lost in the mix.
I am not going to pass judgment on BeTh chasers. It is good to look for the best thing in life--and no one should ever settle. But whatever happened to simply making a decision? Either have sex with the guy or not. Attend the party or not. Sometimes the search for BeTh in the long run wastes time--or worse, you lose out entirely.
I should have advertised my NYE bash as the "After Hours Sex Party" and had it start much later, like at 3am. That would have made it a destination for people looking for some action after their NYE festivities.
But you live and learn. I still have all that beer for another sex party...
posted by Bernard Bradshaw at Sunday, January 02, 2005
3 Comments:
BeTh syndrome is a tragic disease affecting men all over the globe. I've seen it's victims in Paris, London, Cairo and Berlin. Hopefully something can be done.
On the upside, for those who know a good thing when they see it, the BeTh affected leave lots of good men available to us.
Pop the top on one of those beers and hand it down :-)
I hate The BeTh Syndrome. Yes, nothing helps out the ol' self-esteem like knowing that you are basically thought of as "second best". When I get passed by for that reason, I don't offer up a second chance.
I don't drink, but I would have loved an invite if I lived in the area, and I would have shown up! Don't have to tell me about not recognizing a good thing....
And all this time I was calling it the NeBeTh syndrome! Get outta my head man....
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