Obsession for Men

It's after Christmas and New Year's. Time for discount shopping. I have been making a lot of cologne purchases to add to my already extensive collection. It seems like I might have an a bit of an obsession:

1. Roma by Laura Biagotti (this is elixir)
2. Happy by Clinique (it makes me happy)
3. Chemistry by Clinique (clean scent)
4. Casual Friday by Escada (great scent, but never spray it directly on your clothes)
5. Masculine by D&G (this one stands out, only because it is so expensive)
6. Pleasures by Estee Lauder (almost classic and new at the same time, a good buy)
7. Curve by Claiborne (easy to remember, stands out, highly recognizable)
8. CK One by CK (I can't believe this shit smells so good on me)
9. Bulgari (this is exquisite and elegant, almost reserved and subtle)
10. Bulgari Blv (think Bulgari--but butch)
11. Wings by Giorgio (3 bottles-clean and romantic)
12. T by Hilfiger (3 bottles--this is a weak cologne, no power, no lower notes)
13. Azzaro (this is a '70s scent--and truly played out)
14. Salvatore Ferragamo (this is aweful)
15. Echo by Davidoff (one of the best and a great bottle too)
16. Paul Sebastian (another old fragrance, a little played, use only to switch it up now and again)
17. Latitude Longitude by Nautica (good, but forgettable)
18. DKNY Men (bad fashion, but DK makes a good casual fragrance)
19. Lagerfeld Photo (this is when colognes started getting sexy)
20. Cuba Red (cheap, but great bottle concept)
21. Santa Fe (cheap, but unique--a must have for me)
22. Adrenaline by Addidas (much better than it sounds)
23. Moves by Addidas (you might not have to make any moves with this magnet)
24. And let's not get into the 15 oils (its a black thing) that I have that replicate other colognes.

Recently, FRIEND and I went to the fabulous North Michigan Avenue, also known as Chicago's Magnificent Mile. For those of you who don't know, there is no more fabulous place in the world to shop--and I do mean the world. There is the biggest concentration of posh store that would make Rodeo Drive and Saks Fifth Avenue look like a warm-up exercise. You name it, it's here. And all in a one-mile power walk.

We came to the Mag Mile to do a little shopping--and I had promised to treat FRIEND to lunch at the exquisite Becco D'Oro. (Aside: No I am not rich. I purchased a deeply discounted $50 gift certificate ($17.50) from Restaurant.com via ebay). I had barely finished my risotto when we ran out of the "Golden Palate" and hit the Water Tower Place--the urban shopper's delight--home of stores like Lord & Taylor and Vidal Sassoon. The WTP is named after the nearby Old Water Tower--one of the few structures to survive after the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.

We went to WTP to go to Marshall Field's. I love to go here and see if i can fit their couture fashions. The clothes are "off the hook", but often made for millionaires who must be emaciated midgets. Even when you find the fabulous Dolce & Gabana lambskin leather Matrix-esque jacket that fits--Can you afford the $1,280 pricetag? For real.

We walked past Men's Fragrances I was like a straight penis in a pussy shop. There is something about a good smelling man that makes me want to give up the sex. Walking past a man on the street that smells good--or working next to a guy with a good scent is all I need to make me give a double take--and take notice of something that I probably would have ignored.

I must have smelled over 30 scents that afternoon. Everything from Declarations by Cartier to a delicious Sander by Jil Sanders (black men, get on this one). I had got to the Calvin Klien section when one of the assistants told me to try Obsession. "It's classic. A staple. You can't go wrong with it." I didn't want to try anything with the words "obsession" and "man" on the box. Especially since lately I was dealing with my own obsessed person--CHRIS (see side panel under "current men" or this post).

CHRIS and I have spoken only once after we had sex. Since then, he has been blowing my cell phone up--phone calls, text messages, voice mail:

• So when are you going to fuck me again?
• Merry Christmas.
• Will you call me. I'm sorry if I did something.
• You can fuck me and come inside me.
• So are you going to fuck me?
• The sex was good and I need you inside me so can we hook up and I do like you too.

I started getting a little nervous when he wrote that I could come inside him. Did he mean what I think he means? Maybe getting revenge on a young punk wasn't such a good (or healthy) idea. Was it time to give him a call? or another good fuck? The sex was good--but his goofiness and effeminate behavior was a little bit more than I could stand. Maybe I could have bad sex with him and his obsession would dissipate? Had my plot for karmic retribution backfired? Had I put a dent in my own sexual karma?

A salesman sprayed a card with Echo by Davidoff. It was just what I was looking for. I bought the gift box and as I left, my tantric questions about CHRIS echoed in my head.